The last time I sat down to write, it was 22 days ago -- most certainly the longest I've gone since starting this blog just more than a year ago.
Things have been hectic, to say the least, and I've been dealing with the ups and downs of moving in a less-than-ideal situation, conflicts at work, a saddening break from Charming Friend and the realization that I won't be running the marathon in October.
All in the course of a couple of weeks. Phew.
Although I'm getting back on track, the process has been slow. (I was referring to my running, but it seems like an appropriate description of my whole life right now.)
I had a couple weeks of no running at all, then a few walk/runs, then eased back into the miles -- but I'm nowhere near where I was in my training and where I need to be to have a successful and enjoyable marathon.
I tried to convince myself otherwise for a while, kept telling myself that I'd be able to get back in time to run the marathon, but as the days ticked away (who's bright idea was it to put a countdown clock on here anyway??), I realized it wasn't going to happen.
It took me a while for it to settle in and for it not to seem like giving up or failure. I know I need to remind myself that there will be other marathons and plenty of time to get ready for them. There's no need to push it and end up hurting myself more.
So for now I'll just focus on getting better, taking care of myself and supporting my fellow teammates.
After all you've been through you deserve to feel tired,sad and not always in control. I honestly don't know how you have done it all these months. Just know you can always talk to dad and I and you don't have to put on a brave front for us. Love Mom.
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