Happy New Year

Today is New Year's Eve, and like many people, it seems like I spend this time of year reflecting on the past year and looking ahead to the next one.

It's been quite a year to say the least. I'm not one bit sorry to see 2008 go.

I've had so many ups and downs -- at many points along the way it seemed like the 'downs' outnumbered the 'ups'.

But I know with every one of those 'downs' I learned a little something, a little piece of the puzzle that's come together to make me the person I am today.

I know myself better than I ever thought I would, have a clearer understanding about what's important in life, how I want to live my life and where I want to be in the future. Quite simply, I'm a better me.

I couldn't have done this alone.

It was about a year ago that I was preparing to embark on my first half marathon adventure, traveling to Disney to run with the TnT team. It was something that forced me way, way outside my comfort zone.

I joined TnT as a way to challenge myself to do something I had never done. I joined TnT to meet people. I joined TnT as an outlet to escape some of the negative things I was dealing with in my life.

I accomplished all that -- and so much more.

Never did I imagine that TnT would have helped me so much. The people I've met have truly helped me -- not only helped me to become a runner, to finish a half marathon or to know that it's possible to do the unthinkable.

They've helped me get through a very tough year for me - and probably many of them don't even know it.

They listened to me, they gave me advice, they made me laugh, they made me think, they gave me confidence.

In the days approaching New Year's Eve, I mulled several offers that I had for New Year's plans. It was actually nice to have so many offers on the table, but I wasn't quite sure what I wanted to do. A big part of me wanted to just spend it at home by myself.

Spending it by myself seemed somewhat appropriate because I've used this year (and especially the last several months) to really worry about me. I've come to know that caring about yourself and taking care of yourself isn't selfish. It's just plain necessary.

Without a good sense of self, how can you give yourself to someone else? How can you be truly happy? I don't think you can.

I was completely content to spend tonight alone and celebrate how much I've changed for the better this year ... that is, until I spent Monday evening with a group of my TnT friends.

We spent the evening laughing - as usual - sometimes laughing so hard that my stomach hurt (although that might have been the residual effects the ab work I've done at the gym lately).

Our team is about much more than just running or raising money for a good cause. I think the ones who see that get the most out of the TnT experience.

I decided to join them for New Year's festivities. I couldn't think of a better way to spend the evening -- with people who I care about and who care about me and who have really made a difference in my life this year.

Step by step, through all these miles (I wonder how many miles I ran this year), it's been a year to create lasting friendships and really learn a lot about myself. And tonight it's time to celebrate and look forward to next year with great friends.

Thanks, Team ... and Happy New Year.

My haitus

Wow, I can't believe that it's been more than two months since I've written here. So much has happened since then -- not the least of which is cutting another 10 minutes off my half marathon time.

I'm still chugging along, but now it seems I'm chugging with a little more ease, a little more speed and a little more confidence.

I've even decided to have another go at the Hampton Half Marathon in February. Yes, that's the one that I swore I would never do again after running 13.1 miles in the cold and wet snow last year.

I'm still hoping for good weather for that one on Feb. 15. Will make for a much more enjoyable race.

Speaking of weather, Mother Nature is throwing another good one at us as I write this... and Coach Jack's even decided to cancel practice, something he rarely does. ("Can't pick the weather on race day," he reminds us.)

But when the conditions become too dangerous for us to run on the roads, Coach Jack makes the call to cancel.

Tomorrow was to be the 10-miler for the new Disney team. I was looking forward to running it with Sarah and celebrating her accomplishment.

We'll still do it. New England weather is just delaying that celebration until next week.

Maine Marathon Weekend

Had a great time at the Maine Marathon weekend -- and will be sure to write more on it later. For now, enjoy a few pix from the weekend by using this link:

www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=33984&l=ac2b5&id=576969690

Some pix from Scott's 40th

Hampster Wheel

I'm not yet used to these shorter days. I prefer to run in the evenings, when busy families are shuffling kids to and from various practices, cooking dinner and running around with other errands.

I like changing out of my work clothes, lacing up my shoes and using the miles to get away the stress of everyday life and out of work-mode.

But lately I can't seem to keep up with the diminishing daylight. I can no longer take my time when I get home from work.

Yesterday was no exception.

Sometimes when I know I'll lose the daylight battle, I just decide to skip the run. But with the Maine Half Marathon next weekend, I thought I should try to get some miles in.

So I headed to the gym. Unfortunately.

Don't get me wrong... I really like the gym. I like the cross training. I like trying my hand at weights. I love people-watching.

But a gym run is not a relaxing run for me. With 17 television screens flickering in front of me, the whir of the cardio marchines and the chit-chat of gym buddies around me, I can't just lose myself in the run ... can't let my mind go and get into a rhythm where the miles pass easily.

In an attempt to drown out the gym sounds, I cranked my iPod last night and started out slowly on the treadmill. I couldn't believe when I looked down at the display screen and it had only been a little more than a mile.

I felt like I'd been running forever. And I was sweating like crazy.

I missed the smell of the fresh air, the sound of my feet hitting the pavement, the changing scenery and even the challenge of dodging cars driven by distracted drivers.

In the end, I got my four miles in -- and noticed that gym runners don't run as long as outside runners -- and felt good about not skipping that run.

I just hope not to have too many Hampster Wheel nights in my future.

A Rose By Any Other Name...

I took the step yesterday (no pun intended) and changed the name of this blog. I even tried my hand at a fancy new header, which I think turned out alright. (No, that's not my actual footprint, although I did just have a foot scan the other day.)

The name change was something I'd been considering for a while. My 'jog blog,' as a co-worker called it, seemed to have become much more than just a blog about running.

Disney 13.1 seems like something from another lifetime.

What started out as a way to chronicle my progress toward running my first half marathon seems to have gone in a new direction and touched on the ways that my life has changed since joining Team In Training.

I don't attribute all of the changes to taking up running, but I do think that running has helped me focus on me and the solitary hours on the road have really given me time to think about where I want to be in life, eventually.

I'm surely not saying I'm even close to having the answers, but step by step I'm getting closer.

Better Than Running In The Rain

Congrats to Kate and Colleen for raising $800 at their party this weekend by raffling off a case of wine. (I didn't win, darn it.)

Joining them at the party was more enjoyable than that morning's run -- when we questioned our sanity after waking up in the early morning hours to drive an hour for the team run in the remnants of Hurricane Gustav.

Already cold and wet, we ended up getting splashed by a passing car, which is probably when Kate changed from saying that I 'inspired' her to I 'dragged' her into the program.

On the bright side, at least the car wasn't driving through the overflowing sewage that filled the street near the start of the downtown loop.

Here's a pic of Kate and Colleen looking a little drier and awarding the winner the case of wine. Clean up nicely, don't they? (They don't smile that much while running.)

And here's a pic of me with a couple of people I don't really know...

The New Team

The new team started two weeks ago, training for the Seacoast Half Marathon and the Disney Full and Half Marathons. Thanks to Ken (who turns out to be my former neighbor) for taking this pic.

Turn Where?

Shawnna and Jack remind us to "turn after the lions" in the downtown loop. These photos were taken during Jack's birthday party at the Red Hook Brewery last week.

Life Happens

The last time I sat down to write, it was 22 days ago -- most certainly the longest I've gone since starting this blog just more than a year ago.

Things have been hectic, to say the least, and I've been dealing with the ups and downs of moving in a less-than-ideal situation, conflicts at work, a saddening break from Charming Friend and the realization that I won't be running the marathon in October.

All in the course of a couple of weeks. Phew.

Although I'm getting back on track, the process has been slow. (I was referring to my running, but it seems like an appropriate description of my whole life right now.)

I had a couple weeks of no running at all, then a few walk/runs, then eased back into the miles -- but I'm nowhere near where I was in my training and where I need to be to have a successful and enjoyable marathon.

I tried to convince myself otherwise for a while, kept telling myself that I'd be able to get back in time to run the marathon, but as the days ticked away (who's bright idea was it to put a countdown clock on here anyway??), I realized it wasn't going to happen.

It took me a while for it to settle in and for it not to seem like giving up or failure. I know I need to remind myself that there will be other marathons and plenty of time to get ready for them. There's no need to push it and end up hurting myself more.

So for now I'll just focus on getting better, taking care of myself and supporting my fellow teammates.